Sunday, March 23, 2014

What They Don't Teach Teachers in College: You Can't Always Go When You Need to Go

They won't teach you this in college. In all likelihood, your supervising teacher during student teacher will not mention this. I haven't found this nugget in any teacher training text book, but this is something you need to know.  Training your bladder and bowels is of utmost importance. When you are responsible for a room of middle schoolers (or elementary or whatever you teach), you simply cannot just run to the restroom whenever you please. For me, that means, I can only go to the little boys room every 50 minutes, and then I only have 4 minutes to do what I have to do and return. Once my bladder and bowels get on this schedule, I have to very cautious not to anything that could upset the equilibrium.

Of course, it never fails, that once I have gotten everything trained for the school year, a well-meaning parent will stock the teachers lounge with goodies that I cannot resist, and suddenly I will have an unwelcome need of a bowel movement in the middle of third period. And nothing is more uncomfortable than needing to go and knowing you have 40 more minutes until the end of the period. And for those teachers who are preparing for standardized testing- those long test sessions do not always coincide with our perfectly trained bowels and bladders. Talk about living in discomfort!

I am actually a little apprehensive of the upcoming week. It's Teachers Appreciation Week at my school. Now normally, that's a great thing- it is! But I also know there's going to be treats and nice lunches. Well-meaning parents and students will bring breakfast and I will probably have that cup of coffee that I do not normally have- and somewhere during a lesson on the Fall of Rome, I will be feeling as if my entire intestinal empire is about to come crumbling down.

So, teachers everywhere. Before you partake in that nice looking muffin in the lounge. Think! Think hard!

You cannot always go when you need to go!

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